Piyush Chawla and the leg-rollers of doom

Spinners who don’t rip the ball annoy me. Leg-spinners who fail to try to rip the ball anger me more than almost anything else in cricket. Be a fucking off-spinner if you don’t want to spin the ball. For fucks sake Chawla, 43 year old arthritic Warne playing in the tinpot IPL clone still turns the ball more than you. You’re 23, spin the damn ball.

Here follows a list of leg-rollers. I hate them all with a passion, please comment if I’ve forgotten someone, I’m sure I have.

Kaushal Lokuarachchi
Previously subject to a scout report on this very blog, I wrote that the ball ambles out of his hand, and even though he got decent figures for a T20 when I watched him (2-30) he bowls rolled, flat, fast filth. Also on his Cricinfo profile he says that he prefers to play one day cricket to Test cricket. It shows – 5 wickets at 59 in 4 Tests.

Faf du Plessis
The fourth rule of leg-spin (after rip it hard, rip it harder, rip it until your fingers are sore) is, all part time bowlers must bowl at least two boundary balls an over, through trying to rip it too hard. David Warner has this down to a fine art – until he started bowling medium pace in an ODI – but Faf is too South African to ever understand this, so he bowls reasonable leg-rollers that take a few wickets, give away a few runs but annoy me.

Piyush Chawla
Where do I start? Apparently he has a decent googly, not that it really matters since it and all his leg breaks go straight on. He’s a big fan of Warne’s slider, but has misunderstood it’s purpose and is now using it as his stock ball. His action may look energetic, but not much of that transfers to the ball, which rolls out like a sponge, gently rotating through the air. He did get the wicket of Ian Bell today, but then, even I could do that.

Samuel Bardree
Yes, he can keep the runs down in T20 cricket, but has he got any penetration at all? Of course not, he’s just another roller who varies his rolling enough to get away with it in T20, but hasn’t played a First-class match since 2009. He’s an international bowler, who’s 31, and hasn’t played a First-class match in three years, and only 14 overall. If that isn’t an indictment of his style of bowling, I don’t know what is.

Tarun Nethula
Okay, so I don’t really know who he is, but he’s a Kiwi leggie, who’s only played ODIs for his country. He’s probably shit, and probably bowls ODI run containing filth.

So, most of the leggies these days are shit, and even the only international one I like got spanked for the worst ever match figures, and bowls no balls almost as much as Morne Morkel. Plus he’s technically a Saffer now. I’m going for a long lie down, then an hour long Warne YouTube video session.

Originally published on 13-Dec-2012

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